Cloudy Senses

Purity of Empathy

2008-10-03T10:56:00.000-07:00

while surrounded by endless horizon,
a man and fruit experience dehydration.

they are in a state of desperation,
unaware they share their situation;

when the man is confronted with a realization,
his canteen is empty, and, life is nearing completion.

then, on the desert floor he spies the apple core;
withering while it dries, he greets it where it lies,

and cries;

contemplating their condition, he grieves
for the seed's fruitless essence, and their
grave existence in this desolate residence.

must be serendipity, but by
communicating the courtesy,

of empathy,

he gave the greatest gift one can bestow.
his tears helped a seed grow, and undergo
a transformation into a tree, rooting firmly
into the ground, and, fruiting their destiny.

***this poem was inspired by my good friend mohammad's next film***
a dream i once had about an apple

The Ball That Says It All

2007-12-28T20:36:00.000-08:00

On this ball that revolves with the utmost resolve

gravity seems like our ability to comprehend
in that we tend to attract when we understand;

so the sphere becomes our form of command
because that is the shape that is cast when
this monumental force reaches to summon
the symbol with a pull of control that fashions
its position representing the human condition;

a greater community of complementary harmony,
polarity's black & white melody with a tendency
towards duality and the inconsistency of plurality

endlessly chasing knowledge in an orbital journey

because it's the irresistible lure of humankind,
it creates our experience and frames our Mind

a gelatinous grey goo of existence
with a dichotomy at the boundary,
where inconsistency initiates activity
'cuz it enhances inertias influence.

Herein lies the paradox of a parallax
phenomenon where your point of view
provides a new orientation for observation.

It seems contradictory, but uncompromising
ideas at the periphery propel the orb forward
in a multidimensional world which whirls in
different directions at varying speeds due to
the frictionless environment that produces a
condition where philosophies push a dense
essence to extremities, allowing weight to
circulate through a centrifugal force that helps
carve a course for the progressive development

of peoples moving ahead on a pursuit with purpose.

It's within this life form where balance is born;
where the center is calm like the eye of the storm.

The rolling equilibrium leading somewhere
increasingly quicker then it would appear
from a reposeful refuge where smart people
retreat to recharge until they leave the nucleus
and are ready to use their mind as an impetus.

It's our duty to come together at the middle
of this tumbling understanding and use it
as a tool, a place of shelter until we're able
to alter the direction, and therefore pivot
our position in a movement that's our current,
the powerful matter which will run over
those that stand in the way with anger
and don't understand the bigger picture.

Alchemy

2007-08-16T10:41:00.001-07:00

A man scours for a secret.
Sitting alone and struggling,
he spent a lifetime searching

for treasure. Attempting an adventure, an endeavor
turning stone to gold. This ventures gone nowhere.
Instead, he's left jaded. Pebbled reminders endure.

Disregarding omens
leading to fortunes.
Insisting on emotions
directing his attentions.

When, on his last stand,

he saw creation,

in a grain of sand.

The secrets everywhere.
Speaking to us forever.
If you care, and are aware,
with you it will share.

So, lay down the devils alchemy,
listen to the universal vocabulary.
The strategy is masked in mystery.

That's the key, to curiosity.
It changes the way we see.

Selflessly Selfish

2007-06-21T07:55:00.000-07:00

The World is, after all, a creation,
humanity's one big entity.
We need
to embody our psychology,
and cultivate our collective action;

make conscientious decisions,
contemplate their repercussions.

knowing is relating

2007-05-23T09:11:00.000-07:00

every-thing is an understanding,
a way of seeing our surrounding;
connecting this thing to that thing
and recognizing they're sharing
a meaning, which, we're building.

constructing what's materializing,
composing our comprehending,
we're influencing by interacting;

devoting ourselves to discovering,
we're gaining while experiencing,
enjoying while sitting, and observing,
looking is pointing and centering,
clearing each other's sensing
and shaping our perceiving.

the teaching is telling;
comparing is explaining,
knowing is relating.

Grow Into Love

2007-05-15T14:22:00.000-07:00

when you know it will show
in the way you say hello;

so, open yourself to the possibility that
it's possible to uplift with positivity
by persistently presenting your presence,
allowing perpetual prayer to become
part of your existence; since your demeanor is
a factor in the way others perceive you
and ultimately how they will receive you.

so shine, you are divine.
glisten like a beacon,
listen with affirmative
action. together we will
turn our space into a better
place and taste the treasure of
our atmosphere as we smile
at each-other; admire
the reminder, and prosper.

passionate people participate
when they communicate. please open
yourself to the possibility
and uplift with positivity,
genuinely warm your company;
grow into love with everybody.

Organ of Light

2007-05-12T19:57:00.000-07:00

see something simple
staring into sphere’s sparkle.
spiritual symbol symbolizing
symbols, synchronizing spectrums;
seating the solar system’s soul.

round receptacle of resolution
references realities root. robustly
receiving radiance, reflecting replications;
reverberated resonance rolls resoundingly

through this territory,
temple of truth, towering
tribute testing the teaching
of tranquilly; a testament
triumphantly transcending time.

impossible to ignore.
impressive icon of imagery
illuminates innumerable illusions
interacting in infinite intersections.

i

2007-04-21T19:38:00.000-07:00

an elliptical emblem of effluence emits
energy enlightening entirety's expanse;

the ylem yielding the yantra of yogic yoni

elegantly encircles emptiness' existence,
euphorically evolving experience's essence.

Devotion to Motion

2007-04-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

if you care to listen
there's this religion;

omnipresent and all powerful,
a spectacle to marvel.
it's mystical, truly inexplicable.

if you care to listen
there's this religion;

a devotion to motion, an
organization of cascading
connections, chain reactions
following the law of attractions.

an adaptive flow, traceable
but unpredictable, watch it go,
follow it from high to low.

the denomination of continuation.
a phenomenon of progression
with precision execution
and the ambition of conviction.

it's a synergy of circuitry
a harmony with authority
a supremacy in secrecy;

we call it energy.

Universe City

2007-04-11T08:48:00.000-07:00

Come join me in this Universe
city of complexity, where microcosm’s
macrocosm points to blueprints of stars
association in creation. Transverse
isles of folders packed with papyrus
painting pictures of knowledge,
keeping the circle centered, spinning
true down the path to enlightenment.
Sun, Hell’s fiery habitat sits central
providing God’s light, giving right,
insight, into scholarly education.

Universal admittance fostering
tolerance…importance…place
for everything in this space.
Contradictory illusory theories
tumble, giving cycle to circle,
revolution, sparked inferno
memorizing masses, naïve creatures
behaving like moths follow,
never question explanation.
Fueled flame, beacon of light,
burns bright, residue of reason remains—
waiting to be picked apart, dissected.

Study complexity of the galaxy. Interpret
communication’s glow, graceful essence
radiated through wavelengths—
dialectic photon connections prompt
learning laws governing God’s creation,
Universe City.

Journey into Discovery

2007-04-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

Explore ambient waves
whimsical vibrations,
whirlwind dimensions
cascading continuous
glow; energy’s essence,
flow. A pilgrimage
perched on progress
promises to restore
rhythmic ripples odyssey:

…Journey into Discovery…

Reflecting Over Phosphorescent Pulses I Experience Power

2007-04-11T08:42:00.000-07:00

Rocky soil darts from under me,
into the sea, where water flows mystically.
Its cycle rotating, like the moon circles earth.

Moon reflection of sun’s soul
illuminates seascape below.
Interdependently weaving a fabric of subtle vibrations
permitting interpretation of the view.
Waves crash, eating away at hard, brittle earth.
Impermanence seems to be the answer.

Tumbling through my body aimlessly
blood cells dance to the rhythm of life.
Surging like tides caused by moon’s pull,
my heart mimics the beat of the sea,
creating a symphony……of energy.

Flickering in and out of existence
stars above reveal themselves in a glitter.
Embodying characteristics of fire,
they shine, with no escape from the grasp of galaxies.

Everything is one energy
manifesting itself in infinite ways,
converging on an enduring truth,
life’s end is death…
and death’s end is life

Food is Currency is Me

2007-04-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

Viewed as fuzzy, a harmless little caterpillar,
spend your days sucking up what matters to you most,
me, green leafy, money,
but I see past your cute cuddly front, those red, bloodthirsty
eyes repeated down your body don’t lie
about the way you disregard resources,
not even stopping and taking a second to reflect
on your actions, what they mean,
can’t you see
food is currency,
people created, trade, fight, and die for
me because I’m necessary to transform society,
but come, take a taste and see what happens when you eat
me, as I pass through the infirmary of your stomach,
only to become fertilizer supporting the growth
of next years bunch, just as beautiful and purposeful as
me standing here today, propped up by the twigs of reason,
which won’t allow you to stop
me, because I perpetuate myself
through the nature of greed, but I promise
I’m not here to hurt,
only assist in the growth attractive things,
so don’t exploit, rather realize as you chew on
me, the sinew that holds civilization together,
what it is and what it took to create
me: countless lives, time, energy, love,
all human goodness can be found in
me, so don’t abuse or take
me for granted because I aid
metamorphosis and help turn you into
a beautiful butterfly benefiting society,
because, yes, I’m that powerful!

Quest for Knowledge

2007-04-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

What is knowledge anyway?

I’ve heard that knowledge is what one knows,
to be right,
to be wrong.

Smartness is knowledge, isn’t it?
Smarts to know what’s truthful,
what’s false.

Wisdom is definitely knowledge!
Wisdom to know what’s honorable or not.

Intelligence is knowledge.
Intellect of correctness.
Intellect of harmfulness.

So……
Knowing is to be
Smart…is to be
Wise…is to be
Intelligent…is to be

Knowledgeable of what?
and where does it come from?

A book…
A teacher…
School…
Grandpa…
A tree…
The sky…
Stars…
Questioning…

Knowledge comes from questioning
and knowing you know no—thing.

I’m confused, shouldn’t I be questioning this poem?

By the way,

What is knowledge anyway?

Dance of Life

2007-04-11T08:36:00.000-07:00

Life is a dance.

When you are little
you jump in the middle
of the circle, start dancing how it feels
Right.

Growing, struck by
truth you hesitate
at the reality your knowledge is
Limited.

Memorized by the art
of bodily expression
you keep pushing for the center,
Learning.

Continue education
in search of the
outcome of wisdom,
Beauty.

Finally, come full
circle, and dance
to the first playful
emotional flow without
Regard.

You have found…
The beginning is the end,
and…

Life is a Dance.

ZEN MONK

2007-04-11T08:23:00.000-07:00

Egypt is on my head.

Snow tastes like the universe.

A pen fell through eternity
and landed on the table.

Pink Jiggely Jelly Fish!

Do I make your mind fart,
or is it already smelly?

He he he…spirit of a child.

You ask, “Can you help me solve my problems?”
Problems do not exist!

Free yourself from your mind.
It pulls you away from the truth.

Words are signposts, give them no importance.
I tell you nothing I don’t have to.

Your job is to make your mind like the air,
odorless…formless. Use it as a tool.

I teach nothing,
I un-teach.

Seem crazy?…wrap your mind
around a feather.

You think you know,

you know nothing.

Rigidity of mind

meet the flow

View from my garage window facing East

2007-04-11T08:21:00.000-07:00

White columns,
line up perpendicular to white wooden blinds
open to welcome light and sight of

towering trees,
evergreen redwoods lining parking lot walls
silhouette the darkening gray sky, and a

silver car,
Honda civic with a spoiler belongs to Kayhan’s friend Eugene
reflects headlights facing North on Denison Avenue, while

bushes,
poke lilac flowers of purple in my face
climbing the invisible rays descending Earth’s atmosphere, but on

the next day

a couple,
wearing blue rain jackets on Schwin bicycles
pedal towards closing Blockbuster’s doors at the same time

black ravens,
walking on power lines crow into the setting sun
twenty feet above Billy Hersey’s dog Spud standing on

bricks,
red clay dried in rectangular cubes lay cemented
above the concrete sidewalk running to Wheaton Avenue near

street lights,
yellow glow emitted from Vallco
shopping center travels between two houses while

neighbors,
little Chris and Lindsey roller-blade holding hockey sticks
shouting at the Puchinnelli family children during Street Cup four coupled with

sounds,
of nearby cars on I280 and a fire truck’s siren screaming as it travels down Stevens Creek
headed for Cupertino High School, the home of the mighty Pioneers.

Ill-Fated Sneakers

2007-04-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

Up and down the coastal ridge on natural tracks,
in and out of a modest gray house countless times,
with me at night, door closed and listening.
Oh, if you could speak, everyone would listen.

Now slit at the heels like the cow cut at the throat
you yearn to be put out of your misery.
Pale and ruffled, your black hide begs for forgiveness.
Bite marks cause the stitching that gave you strength to fall apart.
Accumulating, these episodes add up rendering you useless.

I will remember you.

On your lucky days I plunged my feet into you,
transforming your limp appearance into a lively, yet hypnotic
dance. No more feet will enter your world, your purpose
now fulfilled, like the dull needle that plunged
through your hide, giving you the strength to hold on tight.

You lived a long and purposeful life,
gave birth to an overflow of emotions.
I hold you over the garbage, about to lay you down
in the place where all other goods go that have served
their purpose, where you will lie rotting in the background of our lives,
forgotten physically, but remembered through what we’ve achieved.

Cloudy Senses

2007-04-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

I can’t see you through this smoke

clouding my senses.
Your loving intensions
struggle to get through.
Glimpses of beauty keep me interested,
only for the mask to return.
Hypnotizing, rising smoke grows until it hits me,
persistently gnawing at my nose.
Swimming through the ripples,
continuous blur clouds my senses.
Sitting…waiting…experiencing…realizing
Unclear, your carefully light words
linger, trying to be felt.
Outweighed they are bogged down
where nobody discovers them,
trampled repeatedly, deconstructing
form and meaning.
Extinguished.
Now I see
it’s too late, I negate the ashed truth,
only to rekindle,
rekindle, the fire,
the fire, of life,
the fire, which started this whole haze.

http://cloudysenses.blogspot.com - a place for my poetry

2007-04-11T08:05:00.000-07:00

I'll start posting my poetry to this blog since it's probably the best way for me to share it.

Let's start by posting some older poems.

Enjoy. =D

Selfishly Selfless - a higher goal

2006-09-02T12:32:00.000-07:00

...for Jer, something I've been thinking about...

Greed is inherently selfish - selfishness is not inherently greedy.

I make this distinction clear as too often we, society, make reference to selfishness in terms of greed (monetary selfishness), and, as a prerequisite for what I'm about to say:

It's possible to be selfishly selfless. In fact, selfishness is the first step in selflessness. To truly helps others you must help yourself first.

Paradigm Shift - Information to Participation

2006-01-21T18:05:00.000-08:00

The Information Age is moving into our history books to make room for the quickly approaching Participation Age.

The Information Age, like any other period in history, doesn't have a firm starting point. I tend to agree with Wikipedia that it started with the invent of the telegraph/telephone, since, for the first time in history, people were able to instantly connect and share ideas remotely. To fully appreciate the affect that must of had on society try and put yourself back in the 1800's. Instead of communicating through snail mail or face to face, which requires time and proximity respectively, people were suddenly able to communicate instantly over large distances. Productivity soared because of these fundamental changes.

With advances in technology information became more abundant with less effort.

Today we have virtually limitless information at our fingertips within seconds. This information overload is shifting us into a different paradigm. We're finding out that there is no technological substitution for the collection of human minds. No technology, without the help of human input, is able to make sense of the tons of information thrown into our lives better than groups of people all adding their little piece to the puzzle.

Wikipedia is a great example of this. In less than five years it's grown bigger than the biggest written Encyclopedias! And it can only be done collectively.

The blogosphere - aka Social Media - is another great example. With the creation of blogs anybody with access to the internet has the ability to publish their opinions freely and have the world and their audience. Collectively, with help from resources like Technorati, we're able to get a clear vision on what is happening in the world.

Case in point, we're embarking on a new era of connectedness, quickly making headway into uncharted waters. Here's the exciting part, we've only begun to change currents.

It's my belief that technology is helping to shorten the time it takes for civilization to switch paradigms. If the Information Age lasted 150-200 years expect the Participation Age to last no more that 100 years. This is exciting to me because with the help of modern medicine I have the ability to potentially live through an entire age in history.

This is an exciting time to be alive. Can you feel the energy!?!

Mystery is Key

2005-11-17T09:46:00.000-08:00

What is life’s driving force? Big question, but worth spending some time thinking about.

To me, mystery is the key.

Mystery leads to curiosity, which in turn sparks our desire to learn.

Take infants for example. Our biggest period of mental growth happens during the first three years of our life. Why is that…? When we’re young everything is a mystery. A little ball rolling across the floor or a dog barking is enough to keep an infant captivated for hours.

Real learning doesn’t happen in school; it happens when we realize the mystery behind something and try to figure it out. School can help, but only if you’re curious.

Mystery leads to more mysticism. What's interesting is that the more I 'learn', the more mysterious things become.

Albert Einstein puts it eloquently:

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed. Drive was to figure out why God made things the way he did and to figure out his plan."

Embrace mystery. I've noticed I feel my best when everything around me is mysterious. It's like you're more connected in a way. That awe is what it's all about.

Try this. Next time you’re feeling down, unhappy, or lonely take a moment to sit down and have a few deep breaths with you eyes closed. Open them and focus deeply on the first thing you see. Don’t take your eyes off it until you see mystery in it. When you find the mystery you're problems will go away.

Mystery is Key.

Origins of the name ‘Cloudy Senses’

2005-10-29T10:29:00.000-07:00

Credit for the title of this blog goes to one of my inspirations in life, Dredg. Cloudy Senses is a line in ‘Of the Room’, my favorite song off their last album – El Cielo.

‘Cloudy Senses’ reminds me that present perceptions are clouded by past experiences.

Life is a continuous pursuit to clear the fog and find your own reality, while at the same time helping others clear theirs.

The purpose of this blog is to clear the fog.

Techy or Busy'

2005-10-29T10:05:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday the 27th I was having lunch with a buddy of mine from Santa Clara Univ., Mohammad Musa. We were talking about someone I'd met since that last time we saw each other and he asks me, "Is he techy or busy'?"

We looked at each other and laughed. He said it just came out of his mouth. I haven't heard it before, until someone tells me otherwise I'm giving Mohammad credit.

I like the analogy to the 'busy' lifestyle of businessmen. But it does probably only make sense when you use it in conjunction with the term 'techy'. I can't imagine someone describing themselves as busy' in an introductory context.

In Loving Memory of Greg Curbow

2005-10-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

My brother Kayhan informed me yesterday that one of his mentors, Greg Curbow, recently passed away. Neither Kayhan or I knew him personaly, yet Greg was able to touch our lives in a way only truly loving people can.

A little over a year ago Kayhan decided that he was going to build a bass from scratch with absolutely no knowledge on how to start. He bought a couple "How To" books and dissected my old guitar to figure out what he'd need to begin. Around the same time I introduced him to my buddy Carlos who happened to have a $5 k Curbow bass that he worked very hard for (now I understand why).

This handmade bass is beautiful, nobody I know who's seen it would disagree. Lifting it off the stand you know it's something special just by its weight. It's solid and heavy but it sits in your arms gently like a baby. You know it’s a masterpiece when you hit a string and you feel this deep sound bellowing through the wood into your body. It was Carlos's Curbow bass that served to introduced Kayhan and I to this truly great man.

After doing some research Kayhan called Curbow's shop for some advice and parts. Greg took an hour out of his schedule to personally talk to Kayhan about different woods, parts and way to go about starting the project. He could have easily passed Kayhan to one of his associates, but that's not the kind of man he was.

I remember the first time Kayhan got off the phone with Greg, he couldn't hold in his excitement and had the biggest smile on his face. He told me how Greg was sending him some special cuts of wood and that he wanted to help him throughout the project. They continued to connect over the phone for the next few months as the bass started to take shape. Every time they spoke Kayhan had a surge of inspiration to take his bass to the next level. Greg saw pictures and invited Kayhan out to his shop/school.

Greg Curbow was able to touch my brother’s life over the phone.

Just yesterday Kayhan called Greg's shop to update him on the progress. One of his associates named Simon answered (Simon and Kayhan grew to know each other over the last year) and delivered the sad news – Greg had passed away a month ago from a brain tumor. I can only imagine the emotions that flew through Kayhan's body. Here's one of his buddies on the phone telling him that his mentor passed away from a brain tumor that he's been suffering from for some time now, of which Greg never said a word. I know how he felt because he came in my room right after receiving word and told me what had happened. I personally felt my guts wrench like someone grabbed them with both hands and then twisted.

The thing is I know Greg was able to touch many other people's lives like he touched ours, that is the kind of person he was. He did what he loved and shared it with a open heart. His life serves to guide us all.

I notice something interesting after Kayhand told me about Greg. Our dog Max was lying on my bed. Every time the mail man comes he jumps up and runs to the mail slot where he proceeds to bark so hard that he starves himself of air. Yesterday for the first time Max didn't address the mailman. He stood up and looked at the door as if he were about to go tear a chunk out of the guy, but this time he looked back at me as if he was aware something was different. We made eye contact and then he just laid back down. There was some presence in my room that he was able to pick up on. I don't know what it was, but it was something special.

I'm happy to say that Kayhan's bass will be dedicated to Greg Curbow, the passionate man whom he never met in person but who was able to touch his life deeply.

R.I.P.

It was only a matter of Time...

2005-10-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

So its hit me, I've caught the blog bug. It was only a matter of time really, I mean, all the cool people are doing it. Right?

I'd like to believe that I live a life consistant with the words I speak. And for the most part that's probably true, accept for one major inconsistancy - I haven't been blogging! I go around telling people about the power of blogging and how the blogosphere is changing the way people relate to information. All the mean while I've been twidling my thumbs as I watch people change the world around me. Thats enough, I'm a do'er and I've decided to participate. After all, this is the Participation Age.

I remember the day I registered this blog. It was the day Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected California's Govenor (a while ago, I know). I wanted a place to log my feelings so that I could review them few years down the line. It obviously didn't work out, but we've reached that time.

I'm buckled in and ready to go. There's no telling where I'm headed, but I promise it'll be fun. If you're up to it join me on the ride of a lifetime.

HERE WE GO!